A DOA Christmas
by JaMonkey
Summary: A groovy Christmas story starring DOA's finest. It's funny, it's wacky, and it tastes delicious!


I know, I know. It's a Christmas story. Well, I figured that even though Christmas is only one day a year, that doesn't mean we can only read Christmas stories one day a year, or watch Christmas movies one day a year for that matter. Anyways, this is my first fan fic, so I would really appreciate it if you tell me what you think about it (whether you liked it, or thought it was a complete crap), but please be nice.

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the DOA games. They belong to Tecmo and Team Ninja. I also have nothing to do with the Christmas characters in the story. I don't know who owns them, but I'm just making sure I don't get into any trouble. Okay, here we go._

A DOA Christmas

Chapter 1: The Arrival

Jann Lee was half way to his apartment when he noticed Leifang standing in the middle of the street. He didn't feel like having a confrontation, but something urged him to approach her.

"What are you doing here, Lei?"

She stared at him with a look of determination on her face. "You know why I'm here, Jann. It is time for me to prove myself to you. I have been training extensively since our last encounter."

"I'll be the judge of that."

The two got into their fighting stances and glared at each other from a short distance. Leifang was the first to move, but before her fist could come in contact with Jann's body, the earth beneath them opened and swallowed them whole.

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"Where the hell are we?" Hitomi screamed through clattering teeth.

Hayate just shrugged. He was the first to arrive at this strange, snow-covered wasteland. There was nothing but hills and hills of snow. Beyond the horizon lay a small town of some sort. There weren't many houses, but what was there had been decorated with more lights than a Las Vegas casino. So far, there had been no sign or landmark to give a hint of their location.

"It's fr-fr-freeezzziing!" Hitomi complained.

"No shit." Hayate was annoyed of the German girl.

Hitomi opened her mouth to speak, but before she could form words, the sky opened up and spat out a quarrelsome Chinese duo.

"This is all your fault! Why do you always do this to me?"

"My fault?! If I remember correctly, you were the one who stopped me in the streets and started this whole thing. How the hell would I pull this off? Tell me!"

"Geez, look at them. They're like squirrels." Hitomi whispered to Hayate.

Hayate cocked his head to the side. "Squirrels?"

She nodded in agreement. Hayate knew many things about reading peoples body language and thought processes, but for some strange reason, he could not understand what Hitomi was talking about. This bothered him a bit, but he knew in the back of his mind that it couldn't be that important. He went off to separate the unhappy couple.

"Um…Jann Lee? Leifang?"

The two Chinese fighters glared at him. "What?!" they shouted simultaneously.

"Nice weather we're having, huh?" Hayate hinted.

Leifang took that exact moment to look down at her feet. Her heels were sinking into the snow and her legs were forming goose bumps. Jann Lee was having a similar revelation. His bare chest was covered with bumps and his nipples looked like they could cut through glass. Suddenly, their argument became a thing of the past. Jann Lee and Leifang embraced each other to share body heat.

"Don't you dare make a big thing out of this." Leifang warned.

Hayate rolled his eyes and walked off. When they came full circle, they focused on something rather strange. Two more confused fighters were chatting with Hitomi. Hayate walked up to them with Jann Lee and Leifang still cuddling and following closely behind. As soon as he got within ten feet of the newcomers, he already recognized them.

"Ryu Hayabusa… Kasumi?" He paused to take in their appearance. Hayabusa's pants were a bit undone and his hair was not groomed. Kasumi's top was in the same condition. "What were you doing?"

Ryu and Kasumi stared at him for what seemed like way too long.

"Maybe if we stay still and keep quiet he'll just go away." Ryu whispered.

"Do you think he knows we were together?" Kasumi whispered back.

"No. Let's fix our clothes, though. We don't want him catching on, now do we?"

Kasumi quickly adjusted her top while Ryu retied his pants and ran his fingers through his hair. Hayate shook his head and looked to the ground.

"Ryu, I think he knows. Quick, think of something!" Kasumi whispered hurriedly.

Ryu Hayabusa searched his surroundings for some answers, but when he couldn't find any, he became desperate. With one swift movement, he grabbed Kasumi and held her as a hostage.

"Oh look, Hayate! I found your sister!" he said loud enough for Hayate to hear.

Kasumi did not fight against his grasp. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it. Hayate noticed this and raised an eyebrow to signify that he was on to Hayabusa's little masquerade.

"My friend, do I look like a fool to you?"

"Well…"

Ryu did not have to finish for Hayate to understand what he was trying to say. His eyes grew wider, for he could not believe that his best friend would have such thoughts about him. He looked around to see the other fighters holding back their laughter. Everyone except Hitomi, that is. Her whole body was trembling as she giggled into her hands.

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" I can't feel my fingers anymore! Are we anywhere near the town," exclaimed Tina. Her whole body shivered violently as she said this.

" Maybe if you were wearing more clothing, you wouldn't be in such a desperate situation." Helena looked at the American with disgust. She noticed that all Tina was wearing was a red halter-top and a pair of tight jeans. " Why do you Americans always intend on wearing so little?"

" I think she looks funk-a-licious!" Zack commented as he stroked his green facial hair.

Tina made a grossed-out face while Helena started arguing with Zack in her native tongue.

A few feet away, Ayane stood motionless, listening to the environment around them.

" Shh…did you here that? It sounded like…people laughing." Ayane turned towards the others to see their reaction. The three of them stared at her as if she was speaking Japanese. She was speaking Japanese! She quickly translated to English so that they could understand her.

" Well, why didn't you say that in the first place? Let's go over there and see who it is!" Tina sprinted in the direction of the loud chuckling. The others shared glances at each other before following in her example.

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" Okay, okay, enough fun already! Seriously, laughing at me will not help us find out what is going on here." Hayate tried to act nonchalant so that no one could see how betrayed he felt inside. His best friend is hooking up with the one runaway shinobi his tribe has been so ferociously hunting down: his sister.

" It may not help with the problem, but it sure makes it a lot more fun." Hitomi added mischievously.

" Hitomi?" a familiar voice shouted from the distance.

Hitomi turned around to see who had called her name, but all she saw were mounds of snow. She looked at the others who were staring in the same direction.

" Who said that?" Hitomi shouted.

" It's me! Tina!" Tina's figure appeared in the distance. Ayane, Helena, and Zack showed up seconds later.

" Finally, someone with a sense of humor." Hitomi hugged Tina as she came closer.

" It's freezing here, isn't it?" Tina said as she slowly let go of the German.

" Yeah. I found that laughing helps though." She winked at Hayate as she said this. Hayate knew the statement was directed at him so he stared back at her broodingly.

" Ayane?" Kasumi called to her sister hoping to get some kind of response, but she just stared back at her with a fire in her eyes that was all too familiar.

" Kasumi." Ayane said in a spiteful tone before walking away from Kasumi's side.

Ryu sensed that Kasumi was hurt by her sister's reaction. He put his arms around her shoulders to provide some comfort.

" So, what were you guys planning on doing?" Leifang asked partially because she was fishing for a plan, but mostly to break the tension in the air.

" We were heading to that small town over there." Helena pointed to the well-lit village.

" Good plan. I was actually thinking of the same thing." Jann Lee added to make himself look smart. Leifang noticed that he was showing off, so she grabbed his already frozen nipple and twisted it. Jann screamed out in pain.

" We should get going. We don't want to be out here in the open when night comes." Ayane suggested.

Without argument, all the fighters made haste toward the town below.

_A/N: Well, that's my first chapter. Don't worry, there will be more. Of course, if you R&R my updates may come a lot faster. ;)_


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